I’m not a runner, but I have competed in one race in my lifetime. (Not including the 50-yard dashes of childhood, which I don’t remember winning)

I’m not a runner, but 13 years ago I chased down a new challenge and talked my daughter into doing a 5K race with me on the campus of Pepperdine University, located on a picturesque hillside in Malibu. What I expected to enjoy was the breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean from the race course at Pepperdine, but what I didn’t expect was a sky full of fog and a starting line full of college students. This 5K had been uniquely designed for the fraternity and sorority students of Pepperdine to compete against one another, to meet the challenges of the hillside campus and to earn the bragging rights of coming in first place. 

Our goal was to finish the race and to do it together, so Ruby and I decided to run the flat portions of the race course and to walk up the hillsides. As the university students ran past us up the hills, we laughed at ourselves for signing up for this particular race. But we finished strong and high-fived each other as we crossed the finish line together. Just a few minutes later, we heard our names being announced as the first place winners in our respective age brackets, and that got us laughing all over again!

I’m not a runner, but this Sunday I am chasing down another challenge and competing in my second 5K race, but this time I’ll be running alongside friends and strangers on the very flat surface of the Pacific Coast Highway in Huntington Beach. I have zero aspirations of coming in first place, even for my age bracket, but I do plan to enjoy the challenge and to be open to laughing at the unexpected. 

Waking up with hives on day 3 of a ten day Alaskan cruise wasn’t exactly what I had planned or hoped for. Out of nowhere, they were everywhere! My body was covered with raised, red blobs that screamed to be scratched. I wasn’t sure what triggered the hives, and it became more and more frustrating when I couldn’t identify a cause.

Over the next few weeks, my hives didn’t go away. Every morning I was greeted with hives in new places, and every morning I would research new information about what might bring some calm to my body.

I wasn’t sure how to pray. I mean, obviously I prayed for God to take them away. But I also prayed for strength to endure. I prayed for the hives to not itch, to not appear on my face, to not keep me from sleeping. I prayed for wisdom in discovering the cause and knowing which medications would work. Who better to ask for help with my body than the One who created and designed it?

I’ve actually been talking with God about bringing calm to my body long before these hives showed up. A few years ago I noticed a slight ringing in my ears when I was trying to fall asleep. Stress really turns up the volume, and the high pitched ringing only increases my anxiety level.

It’s a cycle of irritation that can lead me to wonder if I will actually lose my mind.

Unknowns Start the Cycle:

1. Frustration & Fear

Frustration about this annoying ringing in my ears; Fear about what might be causing it

Frustration about the surprise appearance of hives; Fear about an unknown trigger

2. Research & Reaching Out

Research all things tinnitus; Reach out to specialists

Research foods and medications that may cause allergic reactions; Reach out to doctors about next steps

3. Prayer

“God, please quiet the ringing in my ears. Please show the doctors if there’s anything serious causing it.”

“God, please take away these annoying hives. Please help me find the cause so that I can avoid it.”

4. Frustration & Fear

The cycle repeats when the solutions I’m trying aren’t working.

What Breaks the Cycle?

The only way to Break the Cycle of being Consumed by the Unknowns of life is to Trust God with our Frustrations & Fears. Worry and anxiety might be the first place our minds go when faced with an unknown, but we don’t have to get stuck there.

We can be Concerned without becoming Consumed.

If singing “Let it Go” was a viable solution, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. There are people and problems in this life that we care too deeply about to just let it go. The people we love are often on our minds, and when problems present themselves, our thoughts can run wild with worry. But we have another option: We can be concerned without becoming consumed.

Trusting God is a choice we get to make so that we won’t become consumed by the worries and troubles of this life. Who better to reach out to than the God who created and designed us and the people we love?

We can put our trust in action by changing our prayers from a list of requests to a posture of trust:

“God, I trust you to quiet the ringing in my ears so that I can focus and get to sleep. I trust that you will give me what I need when I need it.”

“God, I trust you to remove my hives, to identify the cause, to calm my worries. I trust that you truly care about me, and you will have new compassions for me in the morning to face whatever comes.”

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

In one of my attempts to be Super-Mom, I thought that teaching my kids about gardening would be a Super-Mom kind of thing to do. A lot of yards in Southern California are pretty small, and the only spot we had for a garden was a gravel-covered area behind the storage shed where we stored our large trash cans, and the Super-Mom in me thought, “Perfect!”

After lots of shoveling, raking and whining, we ended up planting a few strawberry seeds with popsicle sticks to identify their precise placement. My husband, who likes to dream big, planted a pomegranate tree alongside our little strawberry patch. Then we got to work watering our little garden, released some ladybugs for good luck, said a little prayer and hoped for the best.

In spite of our efforts, our little teaching garden never ended up producing much fruit.

Can you even call these actual strawberries?

But our teaching garden still had a lesson to teach us:

Preparing the soil is more than just clearing away the gravel, but it’s a good place to start – in the garden and in the heart.

We were all disappointed in our garden’s harvest, but it turns out that I had made a crucial mistake in this teaching garden; I had failed to learn about how to cultivate healthy soil where our little strawberries could have had a better chance of surviving and thriving.

And if we want to grow in our relationships…

• with our family
• with our friends
• with our coworkers
• with Jesus

…then we will need to clear out the gravel and prepare the soil of our hearts for growth. The gravel that needs to be cleared out will be different for each of us. Perhaps you have a negative attitude or stored up bitterness that makes your heart feel hardened toward others. Maybe you need to let go of some unrealistic expectations so that your heart will soften. Or maybe the gravel that needs clearing is your own guilty feelings about how you’re not measuring up to your idea of Super-Mom!

Whatever your gravel looks like, it’s worth making the effort to clear it out of your heart. Your relationships are worth it. You are worth it.

The beach is my happy place. But I’m not always happy about how my body looks in a swimsuit. So I am leveling up my confidence by choosing to be happy in the body I have.

Way back in the beginning, God gave the first woman a body to live in, and He breathed His life into her and called her very good. (Genesis 1:31) But even so, as a woman, I can get caught up in all that I’m being sold as “necessary” to stay looking & feeling young or to anti-age, and I stop seeing myself as “very good.”

My thoughts and self talk can be pretty harsh at times. So I am working on LEVELING UP my thought life.

• God calls me Very Good
• This is a Good Body
• This Body is where I Connect with God

If you’re working on leveling up your thoughts about your body, you may want to read Jess Connolly’s book, Breaking Free from Body Shame

top bun kinda day

I love a good hair day!

Having a good hair day is like having a superpower to conquer self-doubt.

But today isn’t one of those days. Today is a low-energy, top bun kind of day.

Trudging through my daily rhythms, I find stillness with Jesus, and He calls me His Beloved Daughter.

He invites me to be loved. And out of that love, I show up to do the work that God calls and equips me to do – invite others into a brave, sacred space to be truly seen.

Today isn’t a good hair day. It’s a low-energy day.

But I’m working with the energy God so generously gives me.

That’s what I’m working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.

Colossians 1:29MSG

I was living in a season of big change when I first encountered the LifePlan experience.  We had just moved from Arizona to California as my husband made a major job change, our daughter moved out of the house to start college, and our son was adjusting to a new high school in a new community.

To be honest, I was having trouble embracing my role in this season of change, and I could sense myself becoming clingy and restless as my teenagers were becoming more independent.  I didn’t want to smother my young adult kids, but I wasn’t sure what to grab ahold of as I let go of them.

• “What are you passionate about?”
• “What do you want to do with your life?”
• “What are you good at?”

I felt stuck and unsure, but my LifePlan Guide helped me discover the answers to those questions, and as the LifePlan charts started filling up with words, I was filling up with confidence and finding a way to make a meaningful contribution.

I chose to trust God to design a life I would love.

If you’re unexpectedly out of work or out of your normal routine, you may be…

• experiencing some self-doubt
• second-guessing yourself
• feeling insecure

You may even feel like you’re dying inside.

Are the limitations of not being able to do your work sucking the life out of you?

Are you feeling bored?  Confused?  Not sure what to do with yourself?

With everything that you CANNOT do right now, what is ONE GOOD THING you CAN DO that will be life-giving?

Living with Purpose is Life-Giving

This can feel confusing when your purpose usually has a paycheck, but right now that paycheck is on pause.

Remember Your Why

• why you pursued that position in the first place
• why you love your job
• why you get out of bed in the morning
  • Making others feel beautiful
  • Interacting with people
  • Bringing a sense of calm and order
  • Using your hands to be creative
  • Solving problems
  • Educating others
  • Offering hope
  • Building a bridge
  • Writing
  • Leading
  • Managing
  • Organizing
  • Designing

How can you redefine what YOUR WHY looks like within the current limitations?

Even if it doesn’t look like it used to, you will get some life and energy back by living into your purpose.  Just because it doesn’t look the way it used to look doesn’t  mean you’re not crushing it.

At the end of every day, my husband and I ask each other this question:

What’s ONE GOOD THING you did today?

Can I just gently remind you that you are changing the way you live so that others can have a chance to live?

That’s one good thing you did today.

Many of us are creating new places to work from home during this pandemic.

I transformed my recently married daughter’s old bedroom into my new work space just weeks before this crisis hit.

I creatively changed WHERE I work, just like most of you.  But the biggest change this crisis has created for me is HOW I do my work.

SOCIAL DISTANCING IS MAKING ME CRAZY!

So, since we can’t meet up right now physically, let’s meet up virtually!

Over the next few weeks, I will be posting some helpful tips to help you stay on track, feel replenished and crush it with family and work during this crisis season.

“…let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Here are 5 things I’ve started and stopped doing in order to live my life with greater purpose and impact in 2018:

1. Trust God more than I Worry

• Sometimes I don’t realize my shoulders are up by my earlobes until I remember to ask myself, “Are you trusting or worrying?”
• Trusting God isn’t a passive state, so I ask myself, “What can I do to stop worrying?”
• I can find peace by reading the Bible daily and trusting God to keep His Word.
• Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.”

2. Move more than I Sit

• Weekly checklists motivate me to get moving.
• I love to walk and ride my beach cruiser, and this year I’m adding weights and yoga, and it feels so satisfying to check it off my list.

3. Read more than I Scroll

• I’m usually scrolling for entertainment, not for information or growth.
• Scrolling leads to comparing; and comparison drains my energy.
• Putting down my phone and picking up a book (or reading a book on my phone) is actually increasing my energy.
• My goal for 2018 is to finish at least two books per month.  (I’m currently reading Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend and Everybody Always by Bob Goff.)

4. Reach Out more than I Retreat

• Just like hunger pangs are the body’s signal to eat, feeling lonely is the heart’s signal to reach out.  (I just love this quote from Friendships Don’t Just Happen – another great book I finished this year!)
• Whether I’m reaching out to friends or family or a new community, I want to be someone who invites, includes and invests, not someone who hides out and holds back.

5. Start more than I Doubt

• I’ve always been that girl who has trouble making decisions, but I’ve come to realize that self-doubt is just a form of procrastination, and who has time for that?
• So I’m challenging myself to skip all the doubting and what-ifs and just get started!
• Starting doesn’t always result in perfection, but it always leads to being fully present.

I’d love to hear what you’re putting into practice as you reach the half-way point of this year!  – what have you started doing?  – what have you stopped doing?  – and how is it going so far?

If you’re curious about how to get started on living a life of greater purpose and impact, I’d love to talk with you about your own LifePlan.   You can connect with me at rene@eat-art.org or visit www.patersoncenter.com to learn more.

What is your mindset for 2018?

Choosing a mindset is a personal decision.  Can I share something personal with you?

I have always been an emotionally expressive person.  I experience highs and lows with the best of you!

As a mom I get to watch my kids take big, bold steps toward pursuing their dreams, and my emotions skyrocket with extreme joy!  But then I think about our quiet house and daily life without them around, and my emotions plummet.

I’ve been a full-time mom for nearly 20 years, and as my kids start to need me less,  I often feel like an absolute mess!

One minute I’m wildly cheering them on about the days ahead, and the next minute I’m holding on to the past as if I could hold back the future.

This is why I chose Steadfast as my mindset – hoping it would bring some stability to my emotional ups and downs.

Steadfast: “fixed in direction; firm in purpose, resolution, faith”

But what I’ve learned so far is that setting my mind on being steadfast doesn’t mean that my emotions won’t fluctuate.  Or that I won’t be passionate.   I’m super passionate about parenting.  I love my kids a lot.  I’ll probably never be as passionate about anything or anyone as I am about my family.

I get pretty passionate about the friendships of women and how we can choose to celebrate each other or get caught up in comparing and criticizing.

My heart gets all fired up studying the Bible and helping beginners make sense of it all.

I love making people feel welcome, giving them a place to belong.

Dreamers intrigue me.  My brain doesn’t work that way, but I’m an encourager and a listener, and I am passionate about supporting others who have big dreams.

I’m having fun dreaming about what the future looks like as my kids become adults – how our relationship is transitioning into more of a friendship.  Of course I’ll always be their mom, and they will always be my babies, but I’m excited to dream with them and be their biggest encourager.

And that doesn’t have to make me sad.  It’s not like only one person can experience the joy.  Even the person cheering is enjoying the fulfillment of the dream.

• Just because someone has found their way doesn’t mean that I am lost.
• Just because someone has their life together doesn’t mean that my life is a mess.

Setting my mind on being steadfast is like an anchor for my soul.

Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.”

• Wearing this steadfast necklace helps me remember that my sweet friend is praying for me and cheering me on as I take bold steps into the future.
• Living my LifePlan* helps me remember that every season of my life has purpose.
• Reading scripture helps me remember that I can trust God no matter how I feel.
• Trusting God helps me remember that He brings peace when my mindset is steadfast.

*My LifePlan helped me put my passions on paper and understand my purpose.  To learn more about your own LifePlan, check out www.patersoncenter.com or send me an email at rene@eat-art.org – I’d love to connect with you!